Yeah I said it, and I mean it. I was going to write a little bit more about our road trip. Then I was going to just go to sleep a little early. And then I read a friend’s status update on Facebook and decided to write out some thoughts. Like most, I have gone through and seen lots of loss that should not have been. And it’s not stopping any time soon. I have a friend whose daughter is turning 1 next month. Three months ago she got the whopper of bad news that she has stage 4 brain cancer. Her husband found the best surgeons and they moved back north to get her treatment. She has one of the best spirits I have ever seen. She is so strong, yet so soft at the same time. I can not imagine what she is going through, but she still has a smile on her face. I greatly admire that about her and the incredible courage that she has in the face of the unknown.
My brother’s best friend was killed by a drunk driver when he was 13. A close friend was killed as a passenger in a kid’s car who was racing another car in the rain. He wasn’t even friends with the kid driving the car and wasn’t even 18 and out of high school yet. Someone I know’s best friend was beaten to death by some punk kids because they said they “thought he was gay”. He had a wife and kids. A classmate of mine that I went to middle & high school with was killed while serving his country overseas in 2007. I have no living grandparents, but you expect to lose them before younger family members. And today, another classmate of mine that I went to middle & high school with passed away from cancer.
And that’s not even everyone I know who passed well before they should have. I’m sure you’ve heard it before and see internet meme’s all the time about living life to the fullest, but are you? A couple of years ago I definitely would have said no, but not now. Yea I got caught up in “grown up” life and worked way too much. I was technically on call 24/7 and that included vacations. I would get calls for questions and alarm calls, and the kicker was when I was on vacation in Jamaica for my anniversary. The day I got back in the country, I got a call from my Operations manager telling me my District manager told her she better get a hold of me so I was on a conference call the next morning. Can you say messed up priorities?
Now to answer my question.
Well, to start, I made one of the toughest decisions I’ve had to make so far. I left my job to be a stay at home mom. Not the craziest thing you say? If you know me, you know that is insane. I’m always on the go and I have been working over 40 hours a week since I graduated high school. I was 17 when I graduated. I left a pay check that afforded me almost twice the median income of a two earner household. I became vulnerable. Since I could work, I’ve never relied solely on someone else. Especially someone who makes the choice to be there. And you’re reading one of the other things. Yep, my blog. I had a crazy thought and said I want to start a blog. No idea exactly what I was going to write, but I said why not give it a shot.
I travel…….a lot! My husband and I could go out with our friends all the time, but we like to experience new things. New things? Well how about running and doing a half marathon 8 months after giving birth when you’ve never been athletic. Yep, did that too. I never imagined that I would get into anything athletic, let alone running, and running a half marathon. I’ve got plans to do a full marathon too and a Ragnar Relay, which is 2 days in a van with 6 other people (there’s another van of 6 on your team too) and running a total of around 15 miles with little sleep.
I live each day and smile and laugh with my daughter. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m still realistic about things, which some people call pessimistic, but I look at things through a different lens now. So what are you doing? May I suggest something that you’ve always wanted to do, but always had an excuse for. Whether it be a trip somewhere exotic, or a new career, or going back to school, or skydiving, please don’t take each day for granted. Do something that makes you completely vulnerable to things out of your control. I can not describe the feeling to you. It is just something you have to experience to understand. As you never know what will be, even in the next 5 minutes, and let me tell you there is no better feeling than actually living life and not just “getting through” each day!
Enjoy Your Adventure,